entomology

pinned down by the glue
of my inadequacy
i strain against the skewer of
doubt that pierces my
soul
and holds me fast on
a sea of glass
without wings to lend
impetus to my struggle
choking to death on a
surfeit of hope
i lie back and wait

balanced on the fulcrum
of mediocrity
my days pass in the
silence between
my ears
foreshadowed by hope,
weighed down by waiting
i seek cheap thrills,
lifting a foot, dancing
on the edge of my
seesaw of life

bushido mio

seppuku
my entrails spill
on the altar
at the general's request
an offering

blood and guts
my reasonable sacrifice
an offering of love
torn out of me
day by day

praise falls
a scattershot of blood
forced, choking,
from my throat
it flows

gah

gah,
anger rips
through my
throat, caught
by my
glottis
the rage burns
in my wrists
forcing words
on paper
quicksilver fire
runs in my veins,
held back by the
epithelial
lining of grace
here lies my
transmuted venom

back to the fold

i am undone, betrayed
by flesh and blood
grasping fingers, the
skeleton bones of my
past wont let me go
they hold me back,
cold grasp on my
ankles,
cold hug for my
shoulder
bleached ivory white
entwined in my palm
a jawbone whispers
in my ear
malayalee
malayalee

existence, anyone?

Would you choose nonexistence?
To never have lived?
the whole thing started in the comments section of this post, when i took exception to a phrase uttered by jake
a separate thread seemed cleaner...

edit. jakespeak

introducing the konkani kiss master

also known as the mallu hridaya kallan (MHK)
or the brahmin beast of love.
the one and only dove raja.
will be, in collaboration with me, telling us how he wooed his one and only.
since he refuses to let me know anything about her, i have made it part of my mission to find out details and let the world know who actually got omkar's banner of love all over her...
If anybody has any information to contribute, do post it as a comment somewhere...
So far i've found out that she is from philly.
and he's only telling me good things about her.
a picture of our hindu brother

heena manu jananam

this is a malayalam post.
i heard a song that went like this. and i post this because i love the tune.

Heena manu jananam edutha
yesu raja nin samipay nilpu
etu koll avanay thalladhay x2

literally translated, it goes like this

weak, man incarnation/birth/form took
jesus king your side standing
closer inflict/take him dont push him away

or

the one who was incarnated as mortal man,
lord jesus, stands by your side
confess him, dont reject him.

It is not easy translating malayalam to english.

thoughts on organized religion

the insidious fear that keeps us bound to tradition betrays a lack of trust
we wonder what will happen if we let go of the familiar structure of our religion. if we stop, will god still love me?
will he still stay with me?
will we be lost, adrift abandoned by God after we have abandoned our religion?

everybody's guilty of this. those who embrace the rituals of denial by atheism and those of us who strive for holiness with our pure lives and never miss church attitudes.
if only we realized that god's love is predicated on nothing we do but on who he is.
what freedom.

on main street

the bleeding ribbons of my soul
flutter in the wind

left out to drift
and fall,
streamers, after a parade,
tossed aside by
revelers
in their
pounding frenzy

the wind whips by
lashing confetti

abandoned streets
darken to dusk
as the sweeper appears
picks up the
fragmented remains
and puts back together
a piñata,
treasure inside
a papiermaché man